Less than 2 weeks.

I wanted to make sure I posted every day in my last two weeks, but that's already failed. But this failure had been a good thing, representative of the very full and wonderful days I've been having.

I just said my final goodbye to one of my closest friends, Jess. She came up from Baltimore to spend a few days with me and we had a wonderful time together. She's one of those people who you can't help but deeply love and respect. Jess is so brilliant, well read, well-spoken, and understands the world in an appropriately radical and critical light. Sometimes I'm still amazed that she wants to be my friend.

All my Baltimore friends really, just such high quality people. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am the luckiest person I know.

I have so many incredible people and so much love in my life. I've been truly overwhelmed with the well wishes and with the efforts my friends have made to see me and say their goodbyes. The  interactions have all been sad, but nourishing in their own ways.. And probably more than anything, they've helped me be a little braver and a little stronger each time.

It's absolutely crazy how fast time is running out. I've had February planned for months in advance and when milestones actually hit, I'm always shocked. How can that be? How do I only have 2 weekends left? How has my weekend with Molly already come and gone? How can I possibly leave the country in less than 2 weeks?!

Today will likely be my last day at work. I need the rest of my time for last minute details and goodbyes. I also feel like I need to spend all my remaining time learning more about Malawi, surrounding countries, and getting a handle on Chichewa before I go.

Writing all my anxieties down and talking to loved ones has helped significantly. I'm still a pretty solid 7 on the an anxious scale, but I'm feeling better and finally allowing myself joy, excitement, and the ability to actually be present with loved ones. I'd regret it later if all my time left was spent being an anxious little hermit watching House of Cards and worrying about the near future.