Baltimore

Tonight, I'm half a world away from home, sitting by myself in the dark, trying to untangle the jumble of emotions in my gut, feelings of sadness, hot tears of anger, and mostly an overwhelming feeling of helplessness. I'm mourning the deep wounds of one of the great loves of my life. My city, Baltimore. 

For years Bmore has been keeping it together but hanging by threads in the face of tense race relations, poverty, police brutality, lack of jobs, drug issues, and general lack of equity. So many fates exist within Baltimore, so many lives and roles to be played out--two streets away from the some of the wealthiest residents are condemned lots, boarded up row homes as far as the eye can see. Living in Baltimore, along with being the best year of my life, opened my eyes to the world, to unjust police surveillance, cavalier attitudes about homelessness and harassment, violence, so many unnecessary deaths, and literal lines drawn in the street separating black from white, poor from the rich, those with a future and those who would die years before their time.

It's no surprise to me that in a time where people are finally fighting back, those who have been oppressed their entire lives are coming together, finding their voices, and fighting structural injustice that Baltimore has found it's place in this war. Yes, it's violent. It's scary, and it's a consuming type of wildfire--the kind that spreads and hopefully creates revolution. The kind that works to change this heinous bullshit we call justice at it's very core. But god, what I can't understand is how we're surprised that this is happening again. Have we forgotten Trevyon so soon? What about Ferguson? How about the thousands of other black bodies broken and battered by our justice system? Did we truly not anticipate this outcry after the police broke the spine of a young black man who only ostensibly committed the crime of being a young black man? 

I can't believe I'm not there. I can't believe I'm not closer. I can't believe that all I can do is read about it on the news and post articles on Facebook. I can't believe I can't be there for my city, my people, protesting in solidarity. I can't pretend that I didn't spend a better part of the afternoon looking up plane tickets and riding a rollercoaster of emotion. 

I believe in a need for protest, I believe in change. I don't support or endorse violence, but I understand why it's happening. What I can't stomach is all the racist things I'm seeing on social media in response to these events. How do we not recognize that we're perpetuating all of the things that this protest is fighting against? How do we not care? 

When did our disgust for property damage override our disgust for massive injustice. Why aren't we all standing together right now?

http://m.dailykos.com/story/2015/04/28/1380944/-The-Dominant-White-Response-to-Baltimore-Shows-Why-Black-Residents-are-Justified-in-their-Anger?detail=facebook_sf

http://www.forbes.com/sites/dandiamond/2015/04/28/why-baltimore-burned/

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/04/nonviolence-as-compliance/391640/

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/04/the-paradox-at-the-heart-of-police-brutality-protests/391637/?utm_source=SFTwitter

http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/video/2015/apr/28/baltimore-riots-police-justice-video

http://www.buzzfeed.com/adamserwer/black-leadership-in-baltimore

http://www.bbc.com/news/blogs-trending-32497921

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2015/04/29/why-is-america-celebrating-the-beating-of-a-black-child/?tid=sm_fb

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/another-side-of-the-baltimore-riots?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpho#4ldqpho

http://www.colorlines.com/articles/thugs-students-rioters-fans-medias-subtle-racism-unrest-coverage

http://www.npr.org/2015/04/28/402761088/-aint-no-way-you-can-sit-here-and-be-silent?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=npr&utm_term=nprnews&utm_content=20150428

http://everydayfeminism.com/2015/04/what-white-folks-need-to-know-about-baltimoreuprising/

 http://ftw.usatoday.com/2015/04/orioles-john-angelos-baltimore-protests-mlb?utm_content=buffer01307&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2015/04/baltimore-freddie-gray-unrest-protests/

http://socialistworker.org/2015/04/27/in-the-streets-for-freddie

 https://radfag.wordpress.com/2015/04/26/in-support-of-baltimore-or-smashing-police-cars-is-logical-political-strategy/

http://www.salon.com/2015/04/28/baltimores_violent_protesters_are_right_smashing_police_cars_is_a_legitimate_political_strategy/?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=socialflow 

http://www.alternet.org/economy/ten-shocking-facts-about-baltimore#.VUEQe6gPjuE.facebook